Twenty-two New Music Predictions for 2022

Photo by 愚木混株 cdd20 on Unsplash

2021 has been a hard year, and 2022 will be worse than we can imagine! However, there are some promising trends happening in the New Music world. Many music organizations, composers, and ensembles are making shifts towards diversifying the field and overcoming the threat of COVID. So we at Society for Music Diversity decided to get the team together and come up with a list of twenty-two (22) predictions for 2022:

  1. Institute for Composer Diversity caught laundering money to fund Alex Shapiro’s drug ring
  2. John Mackey gets canceled and writes a piece about it called “x”
  3. Rob Deemer runs for local government
  4. ICE will be abolished (not that one)
  5. Brian Ferneyhough dies of COVID, but not before releasing an album of nursery rhymes
  6. The DSA commissions John Williams to write a piece called “tax the rich” for the Met Orchestra dedicated to AOC on her birthday
  7. White Snakes commissions an opera about Mohammad al-Kurd without his permission, misspells his name, and uses a “terrorist” motif played by the tuba.
  8. JACK quartet sex scandal
  9. Lindsay Sterling releases new album with Phillip Glass
  10. Arvo Part and Lil Nas X rap battle
  11. loadbang releases shirtless fireman themed fundraiser calendar
  12. Ben Shapiro guest speaker at Midwest Clinic
  13. A new, unknown composer writes a cantata about Nancy Pelosi to promote socialism
  14. AI finishes Bach’s Art of Fugue
  15. They forget to do the Pulitzer this year
  16. New Music Creator Development fund will only go to developed artists, no one will question it
  17. Call for scores replaced by expensive zoom classes
  18. Claire Chase performs for the Pope
  19. The Pope declares all New Music a sin
  20. Cameron Carpenter will go to Saudi and ask where the mosque organs are
  21. Mass NFT email commission scam
  22. Jacob Collier sex scandal (related to #8)